Operation Sibling

Before reading this and future posts, you must agree to the following:

Don't tell me you're here and reading this. If this goes the right way, please don't mention it to anyone until we do. If it goes the wrong way, please don't mention it at all.

If you can handle those stipulations, then welcome back. Operation sibling has commenced!

FYI, this sucks just as much the second time around. For those who are here looking for information, here are a few things NOT to say to someone working on operation sibling, because they will go nuts and they're already so close to being there, that they don't need assistance in crossing the line.

#1 - Oh, you had a baby already! You're not infertile anymore!

#2 - I know (x amount) of people who had so much difficulty with their first and had a lovely surprise the second time around! I just know you'll be like them!

#3 - Oh don't worry if it doesn't work, because you already have a kid to make up for it!

All of these things have been said by (I suppose well-intentioned) people to us recently who don't even know this is our plan. It's so hard to hear things like that. For #1 and #2, I could launch into a scientific explanation of why it isn't that easy, but I try not to do that. The person who said #3 to me wouldn't let it go even after I tried several times in many ways to gently say we didn't feel that way. I think it's hard for people who have control over their body to put themselves in our shoes. When you have a certain picture of your family in your head and it's no longer in your hands to create that family, it's frustrating. Of course we have an awesome kid. Yes, we're parents and that's what we wanted to be. But that's not all we wanted. If it turns out after all of our best attempts and everything that we can feasibly do that we're a 1 kid family, then we will love him and that will be ok. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard, and we're tired of that line already.

So anyway, I had my first appointment today. My first question was, "If everything went so horribly awry last time and we still had a kid, how do we know how to approach this one?" Of course they don't know, but they're going to try their best.

#1 - We're trying more medicine up front to get a better chance at having more eggs this time. Most people have 8-15ish. I had 7.

#2 - We're trying ICSI right away this time so we don't have to do rescue ICSI the next day. Hopefully that will increase our fertilization rate and also give us a stronger embryo and a better chance going in.

#3 - We're doing the same antagonist protocol this time with the same medicine.

#4 - Hopefully luck is on our side again.

One thing that makes this harder this time is having to figure out daycare for the baby. They strongly beg you to not bring children to appointments, no matter how short. I totally understand and respect that. However it means some extra planning and may require letting people in on our plans sooner than desired if we have to ask for help watching him. We are planning on trying to time ER and ET with the end of the school year and paying for an extra week of daycare to help with that, but all those morning appointments are going to mean doing early daycare dropoffs before school and then if it works, the early morning ultrasound appointments will be complicated. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it! It also means flying solo at appointments sometimes, because hubby will have to keep the kid while I go. I didn't have to do that last time. I had to remember all the questions myself while meeting with Dr. K and that was harder.

So there's a flurry of appointments in my next 6 weeks or so because in May I have to start the BCP to even out my hormones and get a "clean slate" for stims in June. Holy moly.