Last Pill

We're at a wedding out of town tonight. It's last pill day! Of course it was after the wedding, after the unpacking the cars of gifts, after trudging to the bar down the street to act like I'm still enjoying being around drunk people while my feet hurt, and after cramming into a booth with way too many people and being asked "WANNA DO A SHOT?!?!?!" that I realized it was 11:30pm and I had forgotten to take my pill. So I trudged back to the hotel room and took it...and now I'm sitting here thinking I just can't walk back and keep going. I'm too tired, my feet hurt, and I have to drive a long way in just a few hours for bloodwork. The depression part of this cycle is kicking in. The extra week of pills is always the worst because that's when your period is being suppressed. (The 4th week of active pills - because I skip the placebos and go to a 2nd pack of active pills). I'm achy, cranky, and generally feeling gross. On top of that, I was just at a 11 hour wedding and almost everyone else is really, really drunk. I'm tired of being told by a perky husband "Oh! It's for a good reason! Yay!" I just need it to be ok that I hate this. Of course I'll do it. Of course it's worth it in the end if it works. But I don't have to like the situation. I think not being at all the appointments is putting a little more distance between his brain and the reality of the situation. Plus, he generally is super positive and so he's just thinking "oh, everything went wrong and we still got a kid! So this time things will just go right and we'll still get a kid!" So many people I work with are in the IVF club and struggled for the sibling so I'm just scared it won't be that easy. Regardless of success the first time, there's still only a 40% chance of this working, which is scary. And those are all the things I'm thinking about in this hotel room.