Stims Day 4, First Monitoring Appointment

I was checked this morning and have approximately 13 follicles growing. That's more than last time! 8 on the left, 5 on the right. They called to tell me to go up to 3 vials of each medicine. The baby was crying when she called so I forgot to ask if that means I have to up it to 2 shots. I did consult this helpful handy blog from last time and it looks like it does mean 2 shots. (I couldn't remember if I bumped to 2 at 6 vials or after 6 vials.) I called and left a message but it was a weird time of the afternoon so I don't know if they will call back. On my message I did say that if I didn't hear from them I'd err on the side of caution and do 2 injections. Cause I'm a big girl, right?

Stims Day 3

This is probably my last day of 3 Bravelle, 2 Menopur and 1 cc. I'm guessing I'll get bumped up after tomorrow's monitoring appointment.

7:30am. 35 minutes away. On a Saturday. Woohoo? At least the new office is almost 10 minutes closer to home!

Stims Day 2

Another night of 3 Bravelle, 2 Menopur and 1 cc.

Last night I definitely missed tummy "flub" and hit some muscle. I have that feeling like you get after a tetanus shot where it aches. Oops. I still got it all in there!

Stims, Day 1

1 cc of saline + 3 Bravelles +2 Menopurs = 1 shot

I think I'm going to wind up doing more shots this time around because of starting at the higher dose. I'm going to reach the one needle limit (6 bottles of meds) quicker. Doh! Mixing took me some more time today - partially because I haven't done it in 2 years and partially because I'm using the HUGE needle that comes with the syringe rather than using the Q Cap. The Q cap that comes with the meds is supposed to make it easier (idiot proof) but it leaves a little bit of meds in the bottle. Doctor decided that although the med company claims they build that into their formula, it is leaving too much in the bottle so they want me to mix with the needle. I did it, but it took some getting used to. (The meds are too expensive for a practice round!!)

I did have to say "It doesn't hurt that bad. It doesn't hurt that bad. It doesn't hurt that bad." Before I pushed it in. And then I laughed while it was in because I forgot how s-l-o-w-l-y a 30 gauge needle pushes in. I forgot about my favorite good ole 27. If I had remembered, I would have requested them for my evening medicine. The meds I start later in the morning have 27s pre-attached. So there's that to "look forward to."

1 day down. 13ish to go.

It's so hard to do this now - there's the mental part of looking forward to the end of the school year and counting down, while also counting up on days of this and then realizing that the end of the year just means the surgical and extra stressful stages of this experience.

The Day After The Last Pill

6/1/14

So I got up at 6:30am this morning, not so many hours after going to sleep. (Aren't you supposed to get lots of sleep on nights you're away from your baby alarm clock?!?!) I drove 90 minutes to get bloodwork and ultrasound. I found the new weekend office, walked in, AND THEY SAID I WAS NOT ON THE SCHEDULE.

Seeing as how I have screwed up so many scheduling things recently, I immediately assumed I had messed up.

But I made this appointment by voice, not by email.

And I verbally said to the nurse, "Really? June 1? That's the day I have to do it? That means we have to take 2 cars to the out of town wedding. Bummer."

So I knew I was right!

I found in my email (thank you smart phone) my IVF calendar that confirmed it.

A nurse came and got me and brought me into the "consult room" and said they couldn't do the bw and u/s because I had not been on the pills enough weeks - that my appointment was for next week.

But I told her I was already on my 2nd pack, so then we figured out that perhaps my nurse just clicked the wrong Sunday on the calendar.

Whew.

And everything came out ok. I start my shots on Wednesday. Yay?

Last Pill

We're at a wedding out of town tonight. It's last pill day! Of course it was after the wedding, after the unpacking the cars of gifts, after trudging to the bar down the street to act like I'm still enjoying being around drunk people while my feet hurt, and after cramming into a booth with way too many people and being asked "WANNA DO A SHOT?!?!?!" that I realized it was 11:30pm and I had forgotten to take my pill. So I trudged back to the hotel room and took it...and now I'm sitting here thinking I just can't walk back and keep going. I'm too tired, my feet hurt, and I have to drive a long way in just a few hours for bloodwork. The depression part of this cycle is kicking in. The extra week of pills is always the worst because that's when your period is being suppressed. (The 4th week of active pills - because I skip the placebos and go to a 2nd pack of active pills). I'm achy, cranky, and generally feeling gross. On top of that, I was just at a 11 hour wedding and almost everyone else is really, really drunk. I'm tired of being told by a perky husband "Oh! It's for a good reason! Yay!" I just need it to be ok that I hate this. Of course I'll do it. Of course it's worth it in the end if it works. But I don't have to like the situation. I think not being at all the appointments is putting a little more distance between his brain and the reality of the situation. Plus, he generally is super positive and so he's just thinking "oh, everything went wrong and we still got a kid! So this time things will just go right and we'll still get a kid!" So many people I work with are in the IVF club and struggled for the sibling so I'm just scared it won't be that easy. Regardless of success the first time, there's still only a 40% chance of this working, which is scary. And those are all the things I'm thinking about in this hotel room.

Medicine Arrival

The giant box of medicine came today. I forgot it needed to be signed for. Last time we made sure it would come on a Monday, but this time due to shipping and approval dates and all kinds of random red tape, they couldn't wait to ship it for Monday arrival. It does come in a nondescript (huge) box and doesn't say "FERTILITY MEDICINE" or anything, but I still don't like to have things delivered to my school because of our weird UPS delivery times. So I had it sent to hubby's work because he has a secretary and there's always someone there to sign.

It's a depressing package. All those bottles of medicine, and all those NEEDLES. Knowing I have to do this and KNOWING I have to do this are two different things. Unpacking that box makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.