6dp5dt

Today's 11 days after retrieval, 6 days after transfer. That's the same as being 3 days before a "missed period" in a regular person's world.

And there's a line on the expensive home test. (Seriously people - First Reponse Early Result (pink box) is no joke with the sensitivity!)

It's faint, but it's there.

It's only a first step - we've been this far before - but it's a positive sign. :)

Snowflakes

We have 2 embryos that were able to be frozen. While I still very much want this cycle to work, it is a load off the back of my mind to have a back up plan. If we had not been able to freeze anything, then this cycle would have been our last chance. We are out of insurance coverage after this cycle, but saving up to pay for a frozen cycle is much more feasible than a fresh. (approximately $5k vs approximately $25k.) I really hope that we don't need a back up plan, but I'm glad it is there.

Morally and ethically, this definitely adds to the thought process of our lives, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We knew what we were getting in to, and we haven't come to complete terms about what to do with any that are left when we consider our family complete. That's almost as hard as the rest of the process.

Still Waiting On News

We didn't get our snowflake yay or nay call today. I figured it would come during afternoon call hours, so I didn't call them. Then by the time I realized we hadn't gotten a call, it was too late to call them. I'll call in the morning if I don't hear by then.

I wasn't going to lay on the couch all day today, but toddler child and I butted heads (literally) by accident this morning and my nose got slammed to the point where it bled and I couldn't see straight. So I spent most of the day with ice on my face. No kidding - the pain was up there as possibly the worst I've ever felt. I thought I heard my ears ringing but then I realized it was me screaming - I was that out of it for the moment after impact.

I can't believe athletes just go back out there and play, because holy cow. It hurt.

5dt

So today we did our 5 day transfer. It's a much more pleasant procedure in the new office. When they were in the hospital, you had to get on a stretcher and be moved to a little back room attached to the lab in space they had carved out of another room. During my first transfer, there was a person to wheel me, a sonographer, 2 lab people, a doctor, and a med student. (No hubby because it was past the 'clean' doors.) In the new surgical center that is just theirs, it was similar to a regular doctor's office room. Hubby could be there, and they have closed circuit TV to the microscopes that actually flashes up a picture of the embryo they're transferring. That was pretty cool.

We transferred the one embryo that made it to the blast stage. The other three haven't made it that far yet, so they will check them tomorrow. If they blast overnight, then they are eligible for freezing and safekeeping just in case. We did not have any "snowflakes" last time because of the rescue ICSI issue and sub-par quality issue. They did grade the transferred embryo as "fair" but the nurse said that doesn't necessarily diminish our chances.

Back in the day, the blood pregnancy test was scheduled for 2 weeks after egg retrieval/conception, because that would be the day in a regular person that they got a positive test. However, they were picking up so many low numbers that then didn't take, that they decided to bump it a few days. I'll "cheat" with a home test anyway when it's time. But on top of all the extra waiting, pregnancy tests ("betas" is the IF lingo) aren't bloodwork that they do on holidays and weekends. Since they have a smaller staff on weekends they only do monitoring that has to be done for cycling patients. That means I have to wait until July 7 to get my official beta numbers.

Compared to my last cycle, that is on the same day as my 3rd beta last time. So hopefully by the time that day rolls around, there will be a nice big number on the result list.

No Fert Report on Day 4

They don't look at the embryos on day 4. This is the point where they start morphing from just a small collection of cells to "blasts." We have an appointment for tomorrow morning for the transfer and a friend who is in on our secret is watching IVF cycle #1 for a couple hours. Thank goodness for good secret keeping friends!

Today is the first day that I have started to feel better. I don't feel good by any stretch, but I can stand up straight and walk normal amounts (just slowly.) I took a ride with hubby and child to a local blueberry/raspberry picking farm anticipating that I'd just sit in the car with the window down to enjoy being out of the house but I was actually able to meander slowly around and take a couple pictures and hold the berry container. I'm exhausted now but it isn't the same kind of pain that it has been, thank goodness! This will make tomorrow's transfer easier.

Fert Report Day 3

We still have the same set growing strong. One may be going a little too strong - one is all the way up to 11 cells, which can actually show problems by dividing too quickly. Who knows for sure, and they'll call later with more information. I do appreciate that the doctor himself calls each morning to check in on me. He confirmed that we're heading for day 5 this weekend. Can't say enough how great this whole practice is with bedside manner.

If only them being great could make me feel great. My whole abdomen is still a mess. I haven't slept more than a couple hours in a row in days. I drink Gatorade to help with the pain and it will help for awhile but not continuously. Hopefully hubby takes a turn for the better today because we're coming up on weekend and today's the last day of daycare. He is at work, so that's a step in the right direction. My worst case scenario is to ask for grandparent babysitters on Tuesday if I'm not human by then. I have a serious issue in that I can barely lift anything, let alone a 22+ pound wiggly kid. I know I did not feel quite this awful last time, and I didn't have anyone to take care of. It will be worth it in the end if this all works, but this has been a really hard week!

Fert Report Day 2

Of the 5 that fertilized, one is only 1 cell today and is probably out of the running. 3 of them are 4 cells, and one of them is actually 5 cells. They're anticipating a day 5 transfer this time, which is mind blowing. We're still not used to positive calls. There is still a lot up in the air, and it's scary to go past that day 3 point because that's the point of no return - but if we make it to day 5, our chances are a tiny bit better of success. Fingers crossed for both that and being able to keep some food in my digestive track so that I can start feeling better. I really forgot how awful this stage was.

Fifty Percent

Last time we went through this, we got the worst call imaginable the day after ER, telling us that we had a 0% fertilization rate. This time, we hit 50%. We were hoping for a little more but weren't super surprised based on my numbers from Sunday. They are happy to get 50% so that made us feel better. Now we wait until tomorrow to see how the 5 grow.

On top of that, hubby found out last night that his miserable illness is actually strep throat. I went to the doctor this morning because we had all the same issues, with the difference that I took 1000mg of antibiotic the night before my ER. Since I took that, my test was negative but I got diagnosed with it anyway. THe doctor wants me to finish a round of zpack treatment to make sure it doesn't come roaring back next week.

All of this is causing havoc on my internal system. I spent most of the day on the bathroom floor, which was less than fun. Hoping that tomorrow isn't as bad because we both feel awful. Luckily the kid was able to go to daycare until 4:30ish and hubby was able to do the caretaking in the evening because I still wasn't upright. That part is harder than I was expecting - I miss my baby!

Egg Retrieval

They got 10 eggs this morning. Now we have to wait and see if any are useful. Hopefully we get a much better call tomorrow than happened last time!

I had a weird nausea issue today after the meds. They had to give me a bunch of extra does of the anti nausea stuff which luckily worked. A side effect was that they KNOCKED ME OUT. I half fell asleep several times in the chair waiting for hubby to get the car and then again a ton of times in the car on the way home. I slept for several hours when I got home, too.

And now it's 8pm, the baby is sleeping, the hubby is at an express care hopefully starting to feel better, and it's bedtime again to kill time until the phone call comes.    

A Day Off

Nothing medical today other than 2 giant antibiotic pills at dinner. Seems weird to not be watching the clock and waiting to take medicine! We think we have tomorrow morning all figured out - to start at 9, we have to arrive by 7:30. There's a parking garage and a walk so we're thinking 7:20 and then working backwards from there including daycare dropoff. So all of a sudden our 9am appointment means waking up at 5. What else to do on your first day of summer vacation? I was sad to be prepping daycare cups of milk and name tags on my first night of summer!

Last time I cycled, this day included a physical. They don't do that anymore for whatever reason, but it was nice to have a day off. My veins are thankful. Tonight I have to either stay up for awhile or set an alarm to get up and drink a bunch of water before midnight when my NPO kicks in. One of those things in my skill set that I wish I didn't know is that it's best to hydrate at the last possible moment to make the IV stick less awful. The bad thing about IV sticks is that they just.keep.going. It isn't just a prick!

This is where everything fell apart last time, so fingers crossed we can get through the next couple days with no drama. And hope for 8+ eggs. :)

Trigger Shot!

My E2 finally rose up to 2000+ today. Yay! I have 10 follicles growing, but 3 or 4 of them are so small that they might wind up being worthless. I'm hoping for 6+ on Tuesday. We did the trigger at 9pm tonight, took a picture of all the needles and bottles from the past week and a half, boxed it all up, and now we wait. Tomorrow I take an antibiotic to keep me safe during retrieval and then after retrieval I start my progesterone and estrogen pills. The trigger shot reminded me why I'm so glad I'm taking the Endometrin and not doing the PIO shots. It would not be fun to have to do those for 3 months!

Stims Day 11, Trigger, Oh Just Kidding!

I went into my morning monitoring appointment this morning thinking "One more day! One more day!" But as soon as the tech saw my "bubbles" she said she thought they'd tell me I was done. Then Dr. Y came in and said "You're done! Trigger tonight!" So, ok.

They don't do the physical and bloodwork on the day between anymore, so I was going to have Sunday off completely after we did the big shot tonight. They drew the target on my butt for hubby to stick the big HCG shot in and sent me on my way.

Then later this afternoon they called and said due to my bloodwork numbers, they were postponing trigger to tomorrow. I'm a little worried that my bubbles are big and ready to go without my E level being up. Hopefully I don't have a lot of empty bubbles. But then again, we know for sure that it only takes one. Still frustrating.

I'm totally OK with waiting until tomorrow to trigger because that means I can go to work on Monday. Of course I had already emailed my principal to say I would be out and I had already emailed daycare to say that the kid would be there on Monday even though he isn't usually there before the "just kidding" call. Oh well!

So instead of trigger, I did 4 vials of each again tonight and will do my Gan in the morning. And drive to Towson. (And then drive home. And then drive past Towson several hours later to a Father's Day party.) Good thing my right arm didn't bruise this morning so I still have one functional vein left!

Stims Day 10 and Morning Monitoring

Now we're on every day bloodwork. Luckily my right arm made it through the Mon-Wed-Fri cycle, so I have one good arm going into the weekend. Fingers crossed that I don't have an issue tomorrow. The girl in Towson just isn't as good as the girl at my home office.

I've made some pals along the way this time. A set of girls was on the same schedule as me this week and we've been laughing at our situation all week. Seriously, if you can't roll your eyes at the absurdity of the things we know and have experienced, then you lose your mind. (And sometimes that happens anyway.) Today's conversation was about how crazy the birth control pills make us. And all 3 of us said something along the lines of "Well when I took pills earlier in my life, you know, when I thought I needed them..." but something is different about the ones we take for this. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! What's also interesting is that we're all doing completely different versions of an IVF cycle. I'm doing what's called the antagonist protocol and doesn't use the medicine Lupron at all. One of them is using Lupron to be suppressed (instead of the BCP) and another one is using Lupron as a trigger shot which is the opposite of being suppressed. We didn't talk about what our actual issues are, but I'm sure that all plays into it.

This morning I had to do the crazy get up at 5:10 and dropoff at daycare schedule. But I'm pretty impressed that I only had to do that twice. I was envisioning doing it all week at one point, so the fact that it was twice was totally bearable. And he got picked up early from daycare because it was the Father's Day "Donuts With Dad" party so I felt a little less guilty for dropping him off so early!

Oh and finally, I realized that last night was day 9 which means I got past the day 9 issue I had last time where the doctor called to see if I had remembered to take my medicine, which I had indeed taken in the car in the city, so yay for that!

I have a 50/50 chance of getting to work on Monday. If I go tomorrow and they say I'm done, then my surgery will be monday. If I get through tomorrow, then I'm clear to finish the year. I did decide to give my principal a heads up just in case, but I'm hoping that I'll be ok. The u/s was showing that I might be ready, but the bloodwork is showing that I'm probably not. (Either that, or that I am, and only half the follicles have viable eggs in them.)

Stims Day 9

I didn't have to go to monitoring this morning, so I got to sleep in a little. Yay!

Stuck with 4 vials of each and Gan. in the AM.

Stims Day 8 And Morning Monitoring

When I had my appointment this morning, the PA who did my u/s guessed I'd be there every day now. But when they called this afternoon they decided to skip tomorrow before going to the every day plan. So one more day for my right arm vein to rest. (My left is still bruised from Saturday last week!)

I am however bumping up to 4 vials of each at night and keeping the Gan. in the AM.

Today was the hardest morning monitoring ever. I got up at 5:10 to get myself ready. (Hubby got up with his first alarm instead of hitting the snooze alarm so that he'd be sure to be out of the shower by then.) I showered, dried my hair, did my bag and the baby's cups of milk and packed the car. Then at 6:05 I took my Ganerelix. Finally I woke the baby up and dressed him and carried him right to the car. We left just after 6:10 and got to daycare at 6:20. I dropped him off in the early room, went to his real room and put everything away and filled out his paper. Left around 6:30 and got to the doctor's office just before 6:45. I was 2nd in line, so I got my bloodwork right at 7 and then my u/s around 7:10 and was on the road around 7:25 so I got to work around 8:10 I think. Whew. So by the time I got to work, I had been up for 3 hours already!! And then I had a whole day of work! Back when my carpool met at my house, sometimes I was only up for an hour between open eyes and opening the door at work. This is hard, but we chose a daycare that opened super early for when we needed it, so sometimes this happens.

Stims Day 7

3 Bravelle, 4 Menopur, 2 cc saline (2 shots) this evening plus Ganerelix in the morning.

The Ganerelix is so much easier - it comes preloaded in the syringe. Just pop it out and pop it in. It burns a little more than the other medicines afterwards, but it's glass instead of plastic so it pushes easier and the bigger needle gets the medicine in faster. I just like it better in general.

No blood work this morning, yay!

Stims, Day 6 and Morning Monitoring

Back to the right arm this morning for my monitoring appointment. The bruise is finally gone from last week, but hopefully my left arm bruise gets better soon because I can't be working with one arm! I'm 2 for 2 in bruising with the girl at the Towson office. She is not my arms' friend.

They think they saw either 10 or 11 follicles growing this morning.

Tonight I'm doing 3 of each with 2 shots total.

Tomorrow morning I'm adding ganarelix and bumping the Menopur up to 4 instead of 3. (That would have to be 2 shots since I'm going to be at 7 vials, but I"m already there anyway.)

Update:
I had an unfortunate incident with a knife while making dinner last night. A bandaid protected the awful flap I made on my hand for the day, but I went and bought some liquid bandage today because I think it's going to take awhile to heal. If you would have asked me which I would prefer to do - give myself a shot or paint liquid bandage on my hand, I obviously would have NOT picked the shot. And I would have been WRONG. That stuff STINGS! I think it will help in the long run because the bandaids drove me nuts today, but it made me literally LOL that it hurt so darn much after I did my 2 shots. ;)

Stims, Day 5

Still 3 of each tonight. They did call early this morning to let me know that I could do all 6 in one shot, but it is easier to mix if you do two. So I did two again.

That's right people. I'm the person who takes two shots instead of one because it makes the mixing easier.

WHO HAVE I BECOME?!?!!

Stims Day 4, First Monitoring Appointment

I was checked this morning and have approximately 13 follicles growing. That's more than last time! 8 on the left, 5 on the right. They called to tell me to go up to 3 vials of each medicine. The baby was crying when she called so I forgot to ask if that means I have to up it to 2 shots. I did consult this helpful handy blog from last time and it looks like it does mean 2 shots. (I couldn't remember if I bumped to 2 at 6 vials or after 6 vials.) I called and left a message but it was a weird time of the afternoon so I don't know if they will call back. On my message I did say that if I didn't hear from them I'd err on the side of caution and do 2 injections. Cause I'm a big girl, right?

Stims Day 3

This is probably my last day of 3 Bravelle, 2 Menopur and 1 cc. I'm guessing I'll get bumped up after tomorrow's monitoring appointment.

7:30am. 35 minutes away. On a Saturday. Woohoo? At least the new office is almost 10 minutes closer to home!

Stims Day 2

Another night of 3 Bravelle, 2 Menopur and 1 cc.

Last night I definitely missed tummy "flub" and hit some muscle. I have that feeling like you get after a tetanus shot where it aches. Oops. I still got it all in there!

Stims, Day 1

1 cc of saline + 3 Bravelles +2 Menopurs = 1 shot

I think I'm going to wind up doing more shots this time around because of starting at the higher dose. I'm going to reach the one needle limit (6 bottles of meds) quicker. Doh! Mixing took me some more time today - partially because I haven't done it in 2 years and partially because I'm using the HUGE needle that comes with the syringe rather than using the Q Cap. The Q cap that comes with the meds is supposed to make it easier (idiot proof) but it leaves a little bit of meds in the bottle. Doctor decided that although the med company claims they build that into their formula, it is leaving too much in the bottle so they want me to mix with the needle. I did it, but it took some getting used to. (The meds are too expensive for a practice round!!)

I did have to say "It doesn't hurt that bad. It doesn't hurt that bad. It doesn't hurt that bad." Before I pushed it in. And then I laughed while it was in because I forgot how s-l-o-w-l-y a 30 gauge needle pushes in. I forgot about my favorite good ole 27. If I had remembered, I would have requested them for my evening medicine. The meds I start later in the morning have 27s pre-attached. So there's that to "look forward to."

1 day down. 13ish to go.

It's so hard to do this now - there's the mental part of looking forward to the end of the school year and counting down, while also counting up on days of this and then realizing that the end of the year just means the surgical and extra stressful stages of this experience.

The Day After The Last Pill

6/1/14

So I got up at 6:30am this morning, not so many hours after going to sleep. (Aren't you supposed to get lots of sleep on nights you're away from your baby alarm clock?!?!) I drove 90 minutes to get bloodwork and ultrasound. I found the new weekend office, walked in, AND THEY SAID I WAS NOT ON THE SCHEDULE.

Seeing as how I have screwed up so many scheduling things recently, I immediately assumed I had messed up.

But I made this appointment by voice, not by email.

And I verbally said to the nurse, "Really? June 1? That's the day I have to do it? That means we have to take 2 cars to the out of town wedding. Bummer."

So I knew I was right!

I found in my email (thank you smart phone) my IVF calendar that confirmed it.

A nurse came and got me and brought me into the "consult room" and said they couldn't do the bw and u/s because I had not been on the pills enough weeks - that my appointment was for next week.

But I told her I was already on my 2nd pack, so then we figured out that perhaps my nurse just clicked the wrong Sunday on the calendar.

Whew.

And everything came out ok. I start my shots on Wednesday. Yay?